you just say what you gotta say//

Growing up, I’ve learned how to speak English and Tagalog at the same time. To be honest, it was actually hard for me to distinguish which word is in English and which one is in Tagalog but I sorta got the hang of it a few years after I started attending school. So basically, the English language has been in my system my whole life which is why I can say that I can speak in English pretty well.
I’ve experienced a lot of things about how the people around me judge the relationship of the English language with my identity. If you have read my previous blog about the common misconception about Filipinos, then you already know the story I’m about to tell you. But for those who hasn’t read it, here it goes.
Friend: Where are you from?
Me: Philippines.
Friend: Nice. So how many years have you been here in Abu Dhabi?
Me: I've only been here for a month.
Friend: No way.
Me: Yup. I've lived in the Philippines since I was born.
Friend: Well, for a person who has lived in the Philippines her whole life, you're good at speaking in English and you don't have the common Filipino accent.
Me: Um thanks.. I guess?

At first I didn’t actually know how to take what she said. Should I take it as a compliment? Or an insult to my identity as a Filipino? I usually get those a lot especially from people I just met which is weird for me because I never really know how to respond to it. In the end I took it as both a compliment and an insult. Don’t get me wrong, I’m flattered that people find my way of speaking in English good but I still can’t help myself from getting offended.

My identity as a Filipino has affected a lot of aspects in my life especially when it comes to the languages I speak and where I decide to use them. In the Philippines, once you speak in English to your fellow Filipinos outside of school, people will sometimes judge you and say that you’re trying hard to be someone you’re not. Just like this one time I was buying a something from a local food stall.

Me: Hi. Can I get one mega cheese fries with extra cheese powder and a medium sized Iced Tea please.
Guy: *in Tagalog* Ma’am you don’t have to speak in English. Don’t make your life difficult.
Me: Excuse me?
Guy: *still in Tagalog* You don’t have to speak in English ma’am, you’re in the Philippines not in the U.S.  

After that happened, I just stayed silent because I felt embarrassed.

It just sucks to know that you can never do anything in this world without being judged by people. No matter how good or bad you are at something, some will still find a way to bring your self-esteem down. So the only thing you can do is not mind what others will say bad about you. Just be you. Do what you want to do, speak what you want you to speak. 

Comments

  1. AnonymousOctober 9, 2016 at 7:03 AM

    This was an effective experience to use as the foundation of an excerpt from a memoir. With that in mind, if you choose this text type for a written task, I suggest you consider trying to include more direct narration of the event. This reads less like a story and more of a reflection. With that in mind, your writing is clear and enjoyable to read.

    ReplyDelete

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